How to Develop Your Social Priorities

1. Determine your values related to the social aspect of your life.

2. Determine your goals related to family, friends, associates, lovers, and life partners.

3. Commit to your current and/or new and improved values and goals.

4. Contribute towards them by taking a proactive approach in celebrating your values and reaching your goals.

JM's Advice on the Social Aspect of Life

FAMILY

Understand, accept, and forgive your family. Sometimes being related and sharing a history may be all that you've got in common. When mixed together, personality differences, differences in values, interests, and goals, and mental illness, can lead to conflict or potential chaos. If you and your family members are fully-functioning mentally and you instill values of open-communication, respect, and trust - and understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness, you will have a foundation of love stronger than many foundations found in families across the nation. Learn to say, "I'm sorry," and mean it sincerely and expect the same as well.

Just because you're related doesn't mean you have to have a relationship. The first thing that must be done is to understand, accept, and forgive a family member who has hurt you in the past. If you and another family member have a bad past and it is clear that neither of you wish to have an authentic relationship moving forward, it's okay to move on with separate lives and never speak again. If it's "not that easy" because of family events that both may attend, either only one of the parties may attend or there must be a cordial agreement between the two incompatible parties. There is no point to trying to reconcile for the good of the family when one of the two family members involved is not genuinely interested in patching things up and moving forward with understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. Finally, if one of them has a negative attitude and is filled with regret, anger, and disappointment and simply wont let it go, let them go. Being a healthy family member entails understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness.

It's never too late to say, "I love you." Some families may not share the level of intimacy and emotion where saying, "I love you," flows naturally and often. At any point in your life, you have the power to share love with those you love. At any time you are able to express your love and devotion towards the most important people in your life. Written and verbal expression is powerful. There's nothing to lose when it comes to unconditional love. Worse case scenario: you'll both be saying, "I love you," all the time. Scary, huh. Do it today. It will change your life.

It's never too late to get to know your family members. If you feel it would be nice to really get to know your family, do it. Coordinate some time to essentially interview those closest to you. It'll probably bring you closer. In the end, you won't feel guilty or remorseful for not truly knowing your loved ones.

FRIENDSHIP

You are with whom you associate. Basically, you will be associated with anyone and everyone with whom you associate, so prioritize when it comes to spending time with and on friends.

You can always have too many friends. If you don't feel you have the capacity to maintain authentic and high-quality relationships, don't be pressured into being everything to everyone. The moment you don't know when a friend (or a dozen friends for that matter) celebrates their birthday, it's either time to ask and get to know them better or focus on your closest buddies. They'll know it's nothing personal, which is the problem from the start. The friendship isn't personal, but imaginary.

Friendships can come and go. It's only natural not to have as much as common with one friend as you did in second grade. People change all the time and especially after twenty years. If you notice that you value a friend a lot less than you did in the past, it's okay to move on. Nothing lasts forever. Who knows, perhaps in the future, you both may reunite and share more than a shared history together.

LOVE

Your soul mates are out there. Focus on doing what's right and not doing what's easy. Invest in the best potential life partners that are out there. Determine exactly the type of partner you desire and know that you would be committed to long-term. Then, go after them and don't give up. The moment you do, the chances of experiencing future divorce increases.

Practice being alone. Making the wrong decisions and investing your time, effort, resources, and heart in the wrong people can be lessened by feeling comfortable by being alone. Don't invest yourself out of desperation. Less is more. Think quality vs. quantity. Why have 100 spoons when you can have one amazing knife? You get the point.

Dating is like shopping and everything is on sale. "Dating" forces us to act quickly, take advantage of the opportunity, and often take what we can get. While "returns" are possible, "exchanges" can become common if two people don't take things slowly and develop a foundation of respect, trust, and friendship. Try going for a walk during the day rather than meeting for drinks at night. What's the rush? Start "shopping" for luxury "items" and focus on the best investments and not necessarily the best short-term "deals."